The conversion of a junior school in Prestatyn into a maximum-security learning fort over the last decade have left many people scratching their heads, and others asking if the security is enough.
Helen Vernon, Warden of the site, has worked tirelessly over the her time in charge of the patrons to increase the number of fences and gates on the site.
Quite why the conversion has taken place, is anybody’s guess, as the last North Wales News heard was that it still remained the destination for small un-armed children, mostly to learn about spelling.
Our security expert, Malcolm McBitey, surveyed the site recently and found it lacking in places, but otherwise well-designed for the forced detention of humans.
“Whilst the levels of security to keep the small people caged are admirable, they are not without fault” he was quoted as saying. “To the rear of the site is a large open exercise yard, with no protection from incursion. I’d recommend at least a two-storey gun turret on each corner, manned during daylight hours”.
North Wales news has learned from secret Denbighshire County County documents that were left on a train along with an iced Latte and a copy of Viz magazine, that Warden Vernon has already applied for public funding for not only sniper turrets, but all-round electric fencing and low-voltage cattle-prods for any small person that tries to escape.
Malcolm continued, “The efforts of Warden Vernon have not gone unnoticed – prisons around the entire United Kingdom and parts of Eastern Europe are watching with interest. Prestatyn has become an international beacon for incarceration excellence”.
He went on to give Warden Vernon some advice on improvements; “Where I would start investing, is mainly on the West bank and South perimeter. There, the education wings of the site are close to the boundary edges, which could, with enough planning, allow incursion in either direction. More fences – perhaps seven or eight, would suffice and prevent possible harm to innocents. Couple that with some anti-drone cannons, and the Board can rest easy”.
Warden Vernon was not approached for comment.
