Day: May 5, 2020
MP in surprise call-up for Bond Role
The COVID-19 lock-down may be a hard time for all, and brings strange events and news to us all, but to one North Wales MP, it was Hollywood that came knocking. David Jones, MP for somewhere along the coast, was approached by a high-end Pinewood Movie agent a few weeks ago, who asked if he […]
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Flint Woman amazed at weight gain after continuing to eat too much
A Liverpool woman, now living in Flint, was yesterday amazed at how she had continued to change size and weight after just eating the same ‘too much food’, for over two years. Jenny Pronse, 16, originally from Fizterw….Fitzwaker…..somewhere in Liverpool, started her ‘weight monitoring plan’ two years ago. Each month, she would plot how much […]
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Goats serve up Mixed reviews of Llandudno
The lock-down for us humans is difficult, but don’t forget about the animals that surround us, annoyingly trying to retain some of the planet for themselves. The Llandudno goats, who gained worldwide status recently in their expedition into the Victorian town, have settled nicely into the area and ave started discussing the local facilities online. […]
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Stupid People continue to come to North Wales during Lock-down
Now in the sixth week of lock-down, North Wales Police LIQTS (Low-IQ Targeting Squad), are still finding stupid people making the journey into North Wales from all around the UK. In recent days, the LIQTS team have turned stupid people away several times, including one clueless window-licking spamtard from London. This Londoner had decided that […]
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Assembly Member breaks tradition and tries ‘Genuine Smile’
A Welsh Assembly Government Member has recently boldly smashed all historical traditions, and attempted a ‘genuine smile’ this week. Anne Jones, AM for somewhere or other, had been trying hard to smile genuinely for decades, with no success whatsoever. After a few years of trying and failing, she resorted to ‘Gurning’, a tradition described as […]
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Wrexham FC Manager Carries Historical Demons
Wrexham FC are set to smash all worries in 2020 by the positive news that manager Dean Keates will stop wearing a ridiculously-large collared overcoat. The news comes as Wrexham are suffering issues left, right and centre, and fans are worried. This news will be a boost for the town and club. The players are […]
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St Asaph Prison Wins Architectural Boredom Prize
Glan Clwyd Prison, currently being used as a secondary school in the City of St Asaph, today won the impressive ‘Architectural Boredom’ award. The Prison, which was designed by the receptionist on her break at Bond Bryan Architects, and glued together by Wilmott Dixon, isn’t an impressive construction of bricks on top of steel, in […]
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A55 Shut in all directions due to Llama Chaos
The A55 was a scene of chaos today, as the resulting actions of a heartless thief left over fourteen llamas stranded on the slip-road at Llandulas, Conwy. Nick Knowley of Llandulas Llama Farm was first alerted to his herd of tasty kebabs being loose, by his neighbour, Deirdre Dingle. “She called up in a panic […]
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